Bisexual college student writes a letter about his problems with being masculine


Allen Pham, from the University of South Carolina, said he had previously been sure that he could not identify as male if there are no specific features in the way he looked which were stereotypically believed to be male. As a teenager he hated himself and his sexuality. He tried to do sports to be more masculine, but did not succeed in it as much as he expected to. And the situation did not get better in college. “Like any other freshman, I was desperate for a new beginning. Though I told other people I wasn’t interested in joining fraternity life, I was. Being heteronormative sounded like a great idea when it came to meeting new people,” he wrote. Coming out was rather nervous because the young man expeccted being judged and discriminated. But it did not happen like that. “For the first time in college, a group celebrated my differences. They supported me. They made me feel safe to be myself. They accepted me. And because of that, I was finally able to accept myself,” he shares. And adds that being a man is not the way one looks. It is something much deeper. “Three fundamental traits of masculinity are courage, independence and assertiveness. To be a man in the 21st century does not mean that you have to be hypersexual. It does not mean you can’t cry. And it does not mean that you have to mask your feelings or your true self. True masculinity embraces these three traits in all different, encompassing ways.”


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